My journey to wellness began with wanting a child. I wanted to heal my body, I had a desire to know better and do better. That desire was the launching pad for years of reading, research and connections. And I am still learning! Stepping outside of the Western world of medicine and finding ways to heal over masking symptoms was life changing. The body is powerful and when it needs a boost there are several things we use daily and some we use as a boost, when needed. I share about it all below. While there is a place for Western medicine, my journey has shown me that there is healing beyond what we are often offered.
Before I jump into what we do, I want to touch on what we haven't done/don’t do/haven’t needed to do. We don’t reduce fevers or use antibiotics. Yes, my daughter has had fevers (no febrile seizure issues), she has been sick, but we decided early on to support her with a holistic approach and allow her immune system and gut to build up naturally. When she was unwell she nursed, was held skin to skin, we bathed together to bring her temp down and allowed the body to do its job. What we tend to see in today’s world is a surge of antibiotics and then from there food allergies, attention issues, behavior issues, constant sickness and a vicious cycle…I just want you to think about that. Our gut health plays a huge role in all of this.
Eating well-whole foods, vegetables, fruits and lots of water is part of our journey and definitely something that supports our wellness. When we feel off we avoid all dairy and processed sugar as it wreaks havoc on the bodies ability to heal. Before I became pregnant, we started going to the chiropractor and haven't stopped. When the body is not aligned it struggles to do the job it was made to do! Our home- we have a low toxin home (don't believe you can be 100 percent toxin free) we use one plant based cleaner for our entire home and do our best to be aware of what we put in, on and near our body/bodies. All these changes weren't made overnight, so while it may feel overwhelming, remember the goal and remember it's step by step.
Let ’s talk gut health. Gut health is all the rage right now, but honestly it's always been important, just not as out in the spotlight as it is now. So many companies working to advertise their product as the best and one to have. If our soils weren't so depleted and if we all had access to rich and diverse foods, things would be very different. Taking a probiotic every night (even when we feel great) supports the immune system in multiple ways and yes, at night as that is when your body repairs itself. Did you know 70% of the cells that make up your immune system are housed in your gut wall? That means we need to keep them healthy! So many things can breakdown our gut microbiome-the most common antibiotics! Doctors should be prescribing probiotics with every antibiotic, but…So without overloading you with information here is the probiotic my family uses.
Get Outside
Sunshine, mud, dirt, dirty hands and feet, water. Being outdoors as much as you can. The soil is alive and rich (even when depleted). Stepping outside for most, is healing and hello Vitamin D! We don't use Vitamin D year round, but do use it for a boost, as needed. I buy mine from a small local shop, it's organic olive oil and Vit D, that’s all.
I often get asked about the amount of time we spend in the sun and what I use to protect our body so as a side note we only use mineral based sunscreen with a non nano zinc! So important to not block the negative with harsh chemicals that are known to cause cancer and be endocrine disruptors.
Get outside and get dirty!
Alternatives
Essential oils, homeopathics remedies passed down. All the things your great grandmother or maybe your mom shared with you. The things that seem far fetched, but often worked. My heart has always been drawn to these things. We use essential oils daily to stay well, to support our body when we feel unwell and for everything under the sun. When my daughter had an emergency surgery at 2 we used traumeel and arnica to support the pain. Coughs, congestion, you name it, we have used an alternative for it. If you have a desire to support instead of suppress the body there are answers out there. Mainstream will have you believe otherwise, but I promise you there is support. 
Sleep
Oh sleep. Something that comes and goes in phases especially as a new mama. Sleep is crucial to healing, but when you don't feel good it's hard to rest. Again, we use oils, sleepy tea, tart cherry juice (natural melatonin)and we read and relax. We avoid things that stimulate the body. This is hard with little one. So we do are best, but sleep is key to a strong immune system.
Favorite sleep oils-Roman Chamomile, Calm, Sleepyize, Frankincense, Lavender, Cedarwood, Vetiver, Valerian, Rutavala.
The oils can be diffused, dilluted and applied or even sprayed on linens. So many ways to use them.
Often we miss our sleep window! You may need to be in bed earlier than you think or want.
Vitamin C
Most know the power of Vitamin C. The below comes from whole fruit to ensure you get the full botanical synergy! We take Super C as needed to support our bodies. The added camu camu contains powerful antioxidants that may fight inflammation and rose hips which also contain antioxidants that are anti-inflamitory and protect the immune system especially during times of stress. This is exactly what the body needs when it working hard to heal.
Detox Baths
How I make mine.
Magnesium Flakes 1 Cup-Our body needs magnesium and sometimes we don’t absorb what we need via supplements. The skin does a great job of absorbing this mineral that is used in regulating over 300 enzymes and reactions in the body.
Epsom Salts 1 cup-detoxifying properties, soothes the skin, reduces inflammation, helps you relax…
Himalayan Sea Salt 1/2 cup-another detoxifier that leaves you feeling refreshed and nourished.
Bentonite clay 2 TBS-has sponge like properties and works to draw out impurities, leaves the skin soft
Charcoal Powder 2TBS-detox powerhouse! can leave a black ring and stain, just an FYI!
Essential oils-we love to use Frankincense, lavender, Egyptian Gold, Rose. So many great options. Make sure to add the oils to the epsom salts then pour into tub. This will help the oil so that it doesn't sit on the surface of the water.
It's best to add all this to a warm bath not hot. Soak for at least 20 minutes and then allow your body to rest for at least an hour afterwards.
Wellness Roller
We use this daily. You dilute according to age. I use a 10ml roller bottle and top with coconut oil, but you can use any carrier oil.
20 drops Frankincense
15 to 20 Drops Thieves
10 Drops Lemon
I like to add some Oregano, too!
Diffusing
We have a diffuser in every room. We use them daily. The decision to rid our home of candles, air freshener and all the synthetic smell good things happened years before my daughter. These things are hard on our body and do impact our bodies ability to heal. So instead we diffuse. The house smells wonderful and we are supporting our bodies.
Our current favorites:
1.Thieves, lemon, frankincense
2. Cinnamon Bark, frankincense, Northern Lights Black Spruce, Lavender, Cedarwood and Vetiver
3. Eucalyptus Blue, Orange, Idaho Blue Spruce
4. Basil, lemon, cinnamon
All the woodsy oils to support our respiratory system and wellness! 
Herbs with antiviral properties!
Check out these herbs if you're needing an extra boost. Oregano, cinnamon, basil, clove, peppermint, sage, rosemary, garlic. Look up each one to see just how powerful they are. Add them to your cooking or…
Inner Defense
Our go to whenever we have been exposed to those that aren't feeling well or if we feel off. This stuff is a powerhouse with Oregon, thyme, lemongrass, clove, lemon, eucalyptus, rosemary ans cinnamon bark. We take it at night so our body has extra support to do its job. We also have Oscillococcinum on hand to take during the day as needed (it's a homeopathic remedy that can be bought at stores). 
Ningxia Red
A powerhouse of antioxidants and nutrients. A whole body supplement that the whole family will benefit from. 
Elderberry Syrup!
Elderberries have been shown to support the immune system and help the body heal faster. Elderberries naturally contain vitamins A, B, and C and stimulate the immune system. You can make it at home (my recipe at Destinationmommy on IG or buy it at the store. Just look for a syrup without a bunch of added junk!
Remember our thoughts are powerful. Stress, anxiety, worry, they all deplete our body in a negative way. Raising our vibration and remembering all that we have to be thankful supports our wellness journey, too! Wash those hands and remember that your body is powerful! It was made to support you, take care of it.
*I am not a doctor. I am not here to treat, cure or claim anything. This is just what we do to stay well.
We always have an abundance of eggshells and have found several great ways to use them. Our garden and chickens love the calcium. We also use crushed eggshells for our houseplants. There are endless ways to use the shells (I shared an image below).
I remember reading the ingredients in the chalk I had bought my daughter and a lightbulb went on (calcium carbonate and limestone are common ingredients used in commercial chalk).
After a few experiments and some attempts that ended up being gritty finger paint, I finally came up with the magic combination.
Start by saving your eggshells. I typically process 2 dozen eggshells at a time, but I have processed more and stashed the ground eggshells aside for future use! I usually set my eggshells in the sun to dry out and to prevent any smells. Plus, I don't like spending time washing them all out…
After you have enough shells (any amount will do) place them in a pot to steam them. I steam my shells for about 20 minutes. You can skip this step and I often do, but this is for those worried about bacteria. After they have steamed, set them out to dry. The sunshine will do or you can dry on a baking sheet in a very low oven.
After the shells are a fine powder you can measure out 1TBS of eggshell to 1 tsp of flour. If you want to make more than one stick just double the recipe or triple or…
Slowly add very warm water. I do a tsp at a time. You want a thick, toothpaste consistency. If your chalk is too wet, it will take longer to dry.
To add color-After you add water, add in some color using paint or dye. You can see the paint I like to use. I have used plant based pigments before and love them, but the colors aren't brilliant and don't show up that great on the sidewalk. Start with a little color, stir well and add more as needed.
When my little one is making chalk with me I like to have several smalls bowls out for mixing colors. When it's just me, I use the same measuring cup and mix colors from lightest to dark. For example I'll start with a pale yellow, then do a golden yellow, then a light orange and move to red, then add some blue for purple and so on!
Fill tube to the top and leave upright to dry. The chalk takes about 12 hours-3 days to dry, it's a good idea to explain this before you start making the chalk with your little one.
Enjoy and please tag me @destinationmommy if you make the chalk. I would also love it if you shared this post!
Where do you store all the art your little one creates? How do you keep it organized?
When I taught in the classroom, each child had a portfolio to keep their art in. It was a simple 3 ring binder with page protectors in it. Art that wouldn't fit, would be on display and then sent home.
The reason I kept a portfolio for each child~it's like a storybook of growth. One you can see unfold as you look through their creations from day one to the end.
Children's art is so much more than beautiful, it's a peak into where they were at that moment of time. For some it's a relase of how they were feeling. For others art is their why, their purpose and what grounds them. For some art is a time to get messy and be free.
My tips for storing/organizing art!
Frame it and display it in your home. Nothing better than decorating your walls with the work of your little one’s heart. Something to consider before doing a project, am I using paper that is the right size for a frame? If not, am I willing to pay to have a custom frame made or take time to make my own frame? You can find cheap frames and I have found some of my favorites at second hand stores. If they aren't exactly how you want them, paint them! Or just use blue painters tape and stick them up on the wall!
Buy a few portfolios! You can buy portfolios online or find them at your local arts and craft store. I like to have a couple sizes on hand (11x14 and 9x12 are the two we use most), because I am not into art that is all on one size of paper. For our larger art projects, I have a huge portfolio (24x36). It has hard sides. I didn't photograph it, but it's a must have over here. I have stashed a few pieces away to have framed hopefully in the near future.
3 dimensional art is still a work in progress over here. I have a shelf with lots of pieces, but for some art that doesn't last, like amazing chalk drawings or flower creations…I take picture, print them and place in the portfolios. A recent example,y daughter made a rainbow using different flowers and nature finds. I'll press this before the flowers dry and then frame it!
For everyday and the in between drawing times, I like to buy notepads with drawing paper. My daughter draws in them and I simply write the date on her drawing. I have several of these from when she was a baby (we started art/sensory fun as soon as she held her head up) and love looking back
Make a simple string line with clothespins and hang art up! I rotate this often and put the art that is no longer up, into one of the portfolios.
Children's art is definitely my weakness, I may be an art hoarder, but I have come to terms with it!
How do you store art?
In this time, honor the fact that your child is a child. I have been reminded several times that my daughter is sheltered. I disagree. I don't believe she needs to see the news, hear about the sadness or darkness in order to learn about the past. At least not at her current age. What our children need now is to see our actions and growth and to see how we move to love and embrace others.
Books! So many books written that talk about diversity or share a view into another child or families world are written by one race. I discovered this while teaching and wanted to make sure I was sharing diverse literature that was written by those that truly lived what they were sharing. These books aren't focused on racism. They offer a look into the way others live, the way we are born different, and our lifestyles and skin color that may differ from our own.
While I have books on racism, many of them are written by white authors and while I am not judging this (and they are full of great information), I am pushing myself beyond that and don't want to share that right now. A book that I do reccomended that is more recent is So You Want to Talk About Race, by, Ijeoma Oluo. I would start with it to have your heart and mind awakened, challenged and changed.
For our children. Having books on our shelves that share the diversity of our world on a regular basis is one way to support open conversations with our children. To show the beauty that exists and not only the darkness. It's so important to highlight the good when talking about the "bad." But, it's just a piece of the puzzle, don't let books do the hard work.
Here are some of my favorites. Please share yours, but I challenge you to check out the authors and share more than white authors! I'll try to do a story and share a few images from the books, soon!
*LITTLE LEADERS, Bold Women in Black History and Little Leaders, Exceptional Men in Black History By Vashiti Harrison and Kwesi Johnson.
*Saturday By Oge Mora
*A chair for my mother, by Vera B, Williams.
*Mixed Me By Taye Diggs
*Fry Bread By Kevin Noble Maillard
*My Brother Charlie By Holly Robinson
*Imani's Moon By Janay Brown-Wood
*The Family Book By Todd Parr
*A Day with Yayah, by Nicola Campbell (or any of her books).
*Kamik Joins the Pack By Darryl Baker
*My Heart Fills With Happiness By sâkaskinêw nitêh miywêyihtamowin ohci
*The Seeing Stick By Jane Yolen
*Wild Berries By Julie Flett
*This is Ella By Krista Ewert
*The Name Jar By Yangsook Choi
*My Name is Yoon By Helen Recorvits's
*I am Enough By Grace Byers
*Ben's Adventures By Elizabeth Gerlach
Am I doing my part to raise a generation that cares? The first time I asked myself this, I was standing in front of 18, 5 year olds. 18 children that were in my care for 8 hours. 18 lives that I would impact. It was an amazing and frightening feeling. Amazing because I had the opportunity to raise the future, yet frightening for the same reason. What if I failed??? Guess what! I failed, but in my failure, I learned more than I thought possible and so did the little minds watching me. I learned that the future was also raising me.
It was my first day of teaching solo and I reminded myself of my why. I was in the classroom to share my love of learning and to love and learn from the children I spent the day with. I share this because talking/learning about racism isn't a one day thing. It isn't a reaction to something terrible going on in the world. It shouldn't be something you focus on for a month and then move on. Like everything else it should be a part of everyday life. Not necessarily racism, but the conversations around how each of us is different because racism isn't the only issue. I feel like it's a bigger picture issue that is so much deeper. I feel like it's partly due to ignoring the past and believing we are beyond that.
My approach as a classroom teacher (and now as a stay at home mama) is to share how we are all unique and to discuss how we all bring something wonderful to the table, but to also talk about how people weren't/aren't always kind and to discuss how this makes us feel and how we can do better. These conversations are some of my most treasured memories, because the heart of a little one, is pure and so beautiful. Children are filled with love and acceptance for others. This lens stays intact unless it's smeared with hate and misinformation.
My job was also to be honest and fair with the knowledge I shared. Tricky to do with little ones (that aren't yours) which is why I can't stress enough that these conversations need to happen at home. Don't skate around the truth, instead find ways to talk about the past, present and future in a way that meets where your child is. AND DON'T underestimate your child's heart and ability to absorb information, even your youngest. Children are as smart as we believe they are.
Some of the things I did and continue to do with my daughter: On a regular basis, have bookshelves filled with stories that include children from all races, disabilities/abilities, cultures, genders... Don't bring out "special" books just for Black History Month or...I digress. Have honest, yet age appropriate conversations. And answer the hard questions. If you don't have the answer, seek it, but don't neglect your child's wonder. Children will teach you more than you can imagine if you let them. Allow them to be curious. Allow them to be fearful of the unknown, because that's where growth happens. Allow them to make judgements, don't squash their thoughts (in doing so, you're modeling exactly what you're trying to change) instead talk with your child, grow with them and help them navigate their ideas.
Above all be the example and do the work, don't leave this job for the classroom teacher. It begins at home. In my next post, I'll share some of my favorite books to have in the classroom and home.
An engaging way to learn about how the sun provides heat and just how powerful that heat is!
I remember my first time doing this with my class. So much excitement and anticipation. This isn't an original idea, you can even buy solar ovens, but we made ours. It's simple and you can use recycled items!
I have added the link for making a solar oven, since daddy didn't take step by step pictures while making ours.
We made trail cookies, but any cookie works. Hope you enjoy!
Expectations. Are we a model for what we would like to see or a model of the behaviours we are trying to break?
It's so easy to expect and even require or request of others, especially our littlest ones, yet forget that our actions are observed and our children more often than not, are mirror images of their environment. And while they are unique, in so many ways, they are also mini versions of us.
How we treat ourselves, our significant other, family, friends...plays a huge role in our children's behavior.
That old saying. "Do as I say, not as I do." I just can't. It's so wrong to expect something we aren't willing to do ourselves. I have actually heard this used very recently and I cringe because everything we learn, even as adults is observed, studied and practiced. When we are surrounded by something, in time it becomes a part of who we are in one way or another.
Are there exceptions? Yes, absolutely yes. I have worked with several families that have a child or children with behavior disorders or other predispositions that throw this whole idea of modeling out the window. There are always exceptions.
My focus is on the majority and how who we are, even what we think and say, molds our children.
Some things to consider
1. Are you patient with yourself, your spouse and others?
2. Do you model self respect?
3. Do you model failure and how you work through that or ask for forgiveness?
4. Do you apologize?
5. Do you persevere when something is hard or give up an move on?
6. Do you struggle and show how you work through the struggle?
7. Do you ask for help?
This list is never ending. A simple way to check in-listen to the expectations you have for your child and see if you're a model of those.
Reminder-We all have bad days, it's how we handle them and move forward that impacts our little ones.
If you read my previous post I talked about focusing on the positive behaviors and making a big deal of all the good that happens in a day, while ignoring any negative unless it was harmful to anyone or anything. I know this is hard to do. Children are strong willed and more often than not can stand their ground longer than we can stay focused on the bigger goal (retraining how a child seeks attention). This is key though.
Focusing on the positive isn't as easy as it sounds. We often just enjoy the positive, but forget to recognize it/make light of it. Littles thrive when they are recognized. It's a developmental stage. The asking over and over for you to watch or look or did you see that, it's all part of seeking attention. If they receive attention for the negative, they will continue to seek that attention. Shifting our focus and making light of the good, takes practice, but it's so worth it. Examples of positives to focus on (there are thousands, some tiny, some huge. Please share any you can think of).
Helping clean up or seeing your little one put something away without prompting. Your response- I appreciate it when you help clean up, makes it go fast! I would also throw in the occasional, “Wow that went so fast, now we have time to do that dance you wanted or…” This just adds to the anticipation and the desire to receive praise for the good.
Wiping up a mess or asking to help clean a mess. Your response-Thank you for cleaning up the mess all by yourself. Your such a wonderful helper.
I see you’re upset and appreciate that you used your words and tears instead of your hands. It helps me understand how I can help you. I see how upset you are. My heart understands.
Wow, look at you picking out your own clothes! When you help mommy/daddy it gets the job done quickly and then we can go play.
Oh my goodness, thank you for sharing (whatever it is no matter how small) that with…I can see it made your brother smile.
Yay! You used nice hands, thank you! Our hands are made to help.
Wow you ate your fruit (or whatever it is), that helps our bodies be ready to go play. Thank you for stopping to eat.
I was once told that praising the good would leave me with a classroom full of children that always needed to be praised and sadly I have heard the same in regards to my daughter. The opposite is true. Constant praise wasn't needed after we shifted gears, but it became normal and I find that it builds a respectful environment. Hearing my students praise others and even other adults was a huge reward. Nothing wrong with positive words making someone's heart swell! Yes, things are often done without any recognition, just because it feels good. So for the many that see praise as a negative thing, don't worry children still do things out of the good of their heart.
Moving on-Meltdowns and triggers. An important part of the puzzle.
As I began to shift my focus to positive behaviors I had to look at the bigger picture in my classroom (this applies for home as well). I was on the hunt for what was happening before major meltdowns. That is step one. Was there a trigger? Certain time of day? Location? How was I feeling before a meltdown (our energy is often reflected in our child)? Had we been outside at all? Anyone feeling unwell? Was this happening before eating and more importantly after eating (food allergies and sensitivity to dyes plays a huge role in behavior)?
Once I had an idea of what was happening before meltdowns, I was able to squash several of the issues with a few adjustments to my schedule. Being hungry was a huge factor. So I took time to add another snack break. At home you can set up a place for your little to grab their own snacks or know the time they need some food and have something on hand. Another trigger was transitions. I was not leaving enough time and therefore I felt anxious and that energy transferred to the little ones I was with. It happens with my daughter as well. Simple solution, I carve out 10 minutes on top of what I think I need in order to transition (for my daughter that is often 30 min). I also give several time warnings. We have 10 minutes left. We have 5 minutes left. It's almost time to leave, how can we help each other so that we are out the door in 1 minute? Make it fun-I'll race you to the door, ready? Sometimes children just need a break, time to recharge. They are constantly going. Other times too much of a break (too much TV no judgement) can lead to meltdowns.
Knowing the triggers and being prepared changed so much for me. Just like we do with meal prep. we have to meltdown prep and be ready to support.
My response to a meltdown. Respect, deep breaths, holding space, essential oils and privacy. Our little ones are human beings, they aren't “just children.” I wouldn't want to be yelled at in the store, neither do little ones. I know for myself, I often need space, but with someone near. Children need this as well and that is why holding space is so important. So what do you do when you're in the middle of the grocery store and a meltdown happens? A lesson from my mom. I was 3 when I had when of the biggest meltdowns of my toddler years. My mom took her grocery cart to the front and asked the clerk if they would put in the back and out to the car we went. She sat with me and waited until I was ready for a hug and ready to talk. She also had raisins! I was overloaded (still get this way) with all the lights and people and…Staying in the store to calm me or to bribe me would have added fuel to the fire instead of extinguishing it. I mention this, because I know is’s easier to say “Here can I give you this to calm down” or…but this creates a habit you're trying to break or avoid.
I am anti time outs and anti isolation. My husband works with children with severe behavior disorders and even he will tell you that isolation does very little. He has sat in the corner of a room with a barrier (to keep him physically safe) in order to hold space. Sometimes he has sat for hours, yes hours. The transformation he has seen would make anyone a believer in holding space. I mention the physical piece of this, because sometimes children have learned that hitting and so on gets attention, I won't go into this, but you can still be present and hold space for a child like this, you just have to be a little more creative. Can you do this with all children in all situations, no you definitely can't. Trust me, I understand true behavior disorders and children that will go to any length. I am just sharing a light on holding space and being here for our little ones.
What to say during a meltdown. As little as possible. A child's brain takes approximately 20 seconds to register information and more often than not our questions, reassurance or demands comes way too fast. When my daughter is struggling, I'll often repeat the same words I use when she is calm. I love you, I respect you, I am here for you. I only say this a few times. I'll offer a snack off to the side and water. At first it may be ignored or even yelled at, but in time it's usually devoured or shared as a way to say, I’m ready to talk and I am sorry.
Do I demand an apology, no. I don't believe in forcing someone to apologize, but I model how amazing it feels and we talk about it all the time. I also don't force physical affection (a hug to apologize or) because I believe that is also something a child needs to do on their own. Model, model, model. When you get upset with your husband or wife, model how you handle that. Talk about it. Like all else it begins at home and behaviors aren't magically learned they are something seen and absorbed.
Most important thing I have learned is to take my negative feelings out of the situation during the meltdown. To be present, put the phone away during this time. To honor my child’s ever growing body and brain. To apologize when I mess up and to be an imperfect examone for my child. To love and respect my child for who they are.
I would love to hear from you! Share anything! Any lightbulb meltdown moments? We are all in this together.
