When you are their everything. Their sun and moon. Their nourishment. Their blanket. Their calm through the storm and in the silence. When they want nothing but you. When you have been completely attached every second of the day, for weeks. When the voice of another, makes you feel like a failure. Sometimes when you are everything to a little one, you forget to lean into your why. More often than not the reason we forget this or question this, is due to the voices of others. The voices that feel threatened by the connection you have with your child. The voices that rise because of their own insecurities. The voices that just don't want to embrace or respect another way. The voices that say, "You're spoiling her. She will never self soothe. She will never sleep. She doesn't need breastmilk anymore. Supplement, she will sleep. No sleep means an unhealthy little one. She needs to toughen up. How will she ever learn to be resilient. She isn't going to be prepared for the real world. You're a pacifier. She'll sleep if you teach her how. Just put her down. You come first (sorry, but I even believe this statement is taken way too far)..." I have a list a mile long. A list that makes my heart sink and stomach hurt. A list that fights against my intuition. A list that I have saved to remind myself of how powerful my intuition is. These voices inject doubt and fear while slowly stealing the beautiful gift of mothering from our own heart. Mamas guard your journey. Find your support and when it feels like to much, stop and breathe. Your voice will return. My voice always reminds me that, how I nurture my child is not "extreme." It's not "attached." It's not "crunchy." It's not to make you feel bad about how you mother your child. My journey is to empower you to follow your intuition and let the outside noise go. You are your child's mother. You know your child and so does your heart. It's why you feel indifferent or drawn to certain ways. Lean into that, it's your motherly intuition and it's the only voice that matters. The day I wrote this and took this picture. She was not even 2. I had just been told the reason she had no enamel on her teeth was my fault. I remember holding back tears, rage and so much more. I remember sinking to my lowest and then I remember feeling my heart telling me to ignore and to seek more information. I was once again on a wellness journey, this time for two.
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