It was like day and night, but looking back, I know it was actually so much more. It was stepping into my daughter's heart, leaning into what she needed and giving her time. It was letting go of believing that we needed to continue family traditions that didn't serve our family anymore. It was telling myself over and over that a childhood isn't made up of commercialized holidays and she would be fine without.
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Is motherhood easy? Truth be told no matter what you do, it's not easy. However, just because it's hard at times or maybe daily, doesn't mean your child is difficult. It means they are seeking support. Maybe support you aren't currently equipped to offer.
Or
Perhaps motherhood feels a little harder because you've made the decision to raise your child against the grain? If this is the case, you've most likely had some judgement from others at some point in time or you've felt eyes on you and heard comments made about the way you handle things. Or perhaps you have been made to feel that things would be easier if you just did xyz and followed the rules...
Unfortunately, we live in a world surrounded by adults that were raised to be seen and when they see children acting like children, they feel shame and become uncomfortable. When you stop to think about it, it's really unfortunate.
So how do we parent against the grain? We find those on the same path and we reach out. We share stories and we talk. We do not hide behind closed doors believing that we are alone. We do not hang our heads when our child acts like a child in public. We model for the world how we are raising our child and we ignore the eye rolls and comments. WE DO OUR THING!
Sidenote-when I say acts like a child, I mean it in a good way. Our children should be able to be who they are developmentally. They should have strong emotions and express them in ways we may not love- its why they have us to model healthy and safe ways to express ourselves. It's not our job to silence our children, though we can help them feel safe enough to turn the volume down a bit depending on the situation.
I have watched children from kindergarten through college, I have seen the full circle of gentle parenting. Every gentle parent I have spoken with has said, they would do it all again knowing the outcome.
So while you may be in the trenches, know that the heart work/the hard work you are putting in now, will come full circle.
This isn't about allowing your child to do as they please with zero boundaries, it's about understanding our children and guiding them to become emotionally sound adults.
I have wanted to create a space to share stories of parenting in the trenches and I am considering a few options, but for now if you have a story, especially a full circle story that you would like to share-Send my way. You can remain anonymous or I can include a link to your website, IG or FB account. I will be sharing these mixed in between my regular blog posts.
Hugs to you all
Joey
PS
Thank you for ignoring my typos
Especially when you read via your email. I fix them on my blog, but it doesn't resend to email.
Most likely you're sacrificing your sanity, sleep, mindfulness, exercise, family time or all the other stuff you should be saying yes to, in order to feel like you're doing everything that is expected of you from the outside world.
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Our goal here isn't to suppress big emotions, but instead help you to create a safe space, no matter where you are so that you and your child can work together.
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