If you've been here awhile you know that my approach to parenting is gentle. With that said, please know this- I'm human and I have had to apologize to my daughter, take a minute to regroup and start over. With that said, empaths truly thrive with a gentle environment and at times that can mean a lot of work on our behalf. It's worth it though, I promise!
In my last post I talked about traits of an empath. Today I want to dive into one of these traits and how I navigate it. Or how we navigate it.
Lets start with one that I really struggled with.
From my last post-
Empath's have a heart for inanimate objects
Oh boy, I feel like I could talk about this for days. I remember tossing a crayon wrapper in the trash when my daughter was 18 months old. She cried and cried and finally took me to the trash. That wrapper opened my eyes to so much more. For my daughter Throwing things away is abandonment in an empath's heart.
I'll be honest this trait was very hard for me, I mean how many crayon wrappers can we save...but through the hard I have learned ways to support my little one gently. I have relaxed and realized that she won't be a hoarder, she just needs time and support to navigate her feelings.
This has definitely been the trait I have really had to breathe through. I have had to look into my daughter's eyes and hear her heart as she tells me why the tiny piece of thread from her dress is important and needs to be saved. I have had to let go of thoughts that my daughter is going to become a hoarder if I don't intervene...
In an empath's world inanimate objects connect memories and emotions, they carry a deep meaning. On top of that, letting these things go feels like abandonment. Sounds pretty out there until you take time to listen to why your child wants to keep something.
So let's talk about that crayon wrapper and string. We still have some crayon wrappers, but slowly my daughter is letting them go. As she grows, she is able to share more of her why for keeping things and it has opened my eyes in so many ways.
In her mind the crayon wrapper feels sad it isn't on the crayon anymore and to just throw it away, into the trash with things that people have no connection to leaves my little one struggling. She also tells me how she remembers the things we have colored with the crayon when it still had its "crayon clothes." So what do we do now-we buddy up that crayon wrapper and compost him with a friend or two. We talk about how the wrapper will now have a new job, it will become soil and help us grow things! Finding new life for these objects is huge.
As for the string-Same idea. My daughter's words, "mama the string made my dress, it's family is still my dress. It will be lonely if we throw it out." So what have we done-we have repurposed the string and it is now part of a piece of art we made together.
Do we keep everything, no! We have found a balance, finally. Throwing stufff away is a bit of a ritual for my daughter, but it's when I step back to see the beauty in the way she sees things. I can't help but take a minute to really think about how amazing her view is. She isn't wasteful. She is deeply connected. She feels what many don't. Her heart is in the right place.
My role is to help her find a balance and a calm in letting go, but it isn't my job to tell her something isn't important or, "It's just a string." My job is to gently guide her in finding ways to part with excess inanimate things, but give them new life. My job is to believe in her way and give her space to let go in her time.
I have found that when I don't push or make a big deal, throwing things away or passing them to someone else is becoming easier every day. And if all else fails-take a picture of the item as a memory.
It's moments of hearing my daughter talk about a pair of shoes going to just the right person because they love a certain color or they smile a certain way, that I am reminded to just breathe.
Even as I typed this out I had to be mindful of my thoughts and fear of judgement from others. Perhaps why it has taken me so long to share this. My hope is that my sharing will encourage your heart as you navigate life with an empath.
More to come! I planned to share several traits and how I navigate them, but I think this is enough to soak in for now.
I would love to hear from you! Especially if you have experienced this with your child.
Make sure to join me @Destinationmommy or @Raisingempathywithme and subscribe to my blog HERE
Make sure to join me @Destinationmommy or @Raisingempathywithme and subscribe to my blog HERE
Have a wonderful day my friends and thank you for reading.
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