Parenting the Empathic Child Part One
I want to start by sharing why I have decided to share more about my journey as an empath raising an empath. I have spent several years wondering if I should share our journey or keep it private. I'll admit some of our story will remain ours, but knowing that my mom had no one to lean on, no one to support her has been a constant nudge in my mind. My hope is that I can be the light for other's walking this path.
One more note~
Something I wish every mama leaned into-our mama intuition. It's one thing I will always remind you of. We all have it, but we learn to suppress it, question it, or write it off. I am here to encourage you to lean into it. It can be everything when it comes to raising our children. You know those moments of feeling connected with your child, the times when you parent in a way that feels good, lean into those moments regardless of what the outside world tells you.
I remember being told I was raising my daughter in a way where she would never "self soothe" or learn to be confident. These words not only left me conflicted and worried, they left me questioning myself as a mom. I sat with them for a day and then remembered what made me feel comfortable as a mama. That's when I learned to tune out the noise from those that weren't walking in my shoes.
Give yourself permission to be the parent you need to be, the parent your child needs, it will make a world of a difference.
I want to start by sharing why I have decided to share more about my journey as an empath raising an empath. I have spent several years wondering if I should share our journey or keep it private. I'll admit some of our story will remain ours, but knowing that my mom had no one to lean on, no one to support her has been a constant nudge in my mind. My hope is that I can be the light for other's walking this path.
One more note~
Something I wish every mama leaned into-our mama intuition. It's one thing I will always remind you of. We all have it, but we learn to suppress it, question it, or write it off. I am here to encourage you to lean into it. It can be everything when it comes to raising our children. You know those moments of feeling connected with your child, the times when you parent in a way that feels good, lean into those moments regardless of what the outside world tells you.
I remember being told I was raising my daughter in a way where she would never "self soothe" or learn to be confident. These words not only left me conflicted and worried, they left me questioning myself as a mom. I sat with them for a day and then remembered what made me feel comfortable as a mama. That's when I learned to tune out the noise from those that weren't walking in my shoes.
Give yourself permission to be the parent you need to be, the parent your child needs, it will make a world of a difference.
Let's jump in! Your health and mindset is key. Yes yours/ours. I realized a few years ago that in order to be the parent my daughter needed, I would have to take care of me. I'm not talking spa days or mom's night out. I'm talking daily health habits.
Parenting an empath, especially if you're also an empath, can be beautiful, exhausting and everything in between. More often than not, one of the child's caregivers is also an empath, very sensitive or highly intuitive. This is why it's so important to find our balance so that we are ready to care for our little ones.
Sleep.
I know, I know. I can feel the eye rolls. I get it. Sleep is hard as a parent, but give yourself permission to leave things undone. To sleep when your child sleeps and to go to bed when they do or shortly after. This will mean you may have to sacrifice other things. TV shows you love, late night reading...but you need sleep. Raising an empath on little sleep will lead to unnecessary stress which then typically leads to adrenal fatigue and then....Yes it's a vicious cycle. Sleep is so important.
Sleep also allows our mind time to decompress. We may think that TV and social media is a way to decompress, but there is plenty of research to prove that wrong. Sleep is when we heal from all things.
My current schedule is to bed by 830 and awake around 430. The early am time is mine to workout while working, clean up as needed and everything in between. Sometimes I take 30 minutes to just stare at the wall or more often than not craft or write. When we stay up late we often run into a cortisol peak which then leads to staying up later, lots of waking, hard time falling asleep and so much more. Is my sleep uninterrupted? No its not. My little empath searches for cuddles. This means I wake a bit, but I'm able to fall back to sleep easily, now. Cosleeping is what works for us, but I'll talk more about our little's sleep, another time.
Our wounds
Healing our emotional wounds needs to be part of this journey.
If you:
Had a hard childhood
Carry guilt of being a "bad" parent
Experienced a traumatic event
...
take time to heal you, because our empathic little ones will pull the things we try to suppress, to the the surface. These wounds will manifest in ways that won't serve you or your child.
Lean into support
Find your partner and ask for help. Do not try to be a superhero. This is tricky. Empathic little ones usually bond with one person. This person is typically mama. You may be thinking how does my partner help. This is what has worked beautifully for us. My husband does most of the household stuff. He is also ready to jump in and play and be present with our daughter. He is a partner and while he may not be able to be the one holding space for our little one, because she wants mama. He is there to support in other ways. I could write a huge list, but what I want you to know is, you can't do it all. You'll burnout before lunch has come around.
For those that don't have an in home partner, find a friend that you can lean on. Perhaps you do a trade of some sorts. My mom was a single mom and didn't have a close group of friends. She found her calm and balance with me, out in nature. If this is you, find what brings balance and lean into it. Perhaps it's art time, gardening or baking. Whatever it is, make it a daily habit. If it's reading together on the couch, spend time reading together.
In the early years, there won't be much space between you and your empath. No matter what parenting tip or trick or training you learn about, it most likely will not work. Our children need something different. They need time to learn that they are safe. They need time to learn how to regulate their response to the energy they absorb. They need time to know that who they are is wonderful.
To put it in a nutshell~find your balance mama and breathe into who you are as a mama and who your child needs. When you let go of what the world tells you about your child and how you parent, you will be able to find a rhythm.
Stay tuned for more tips on parenting an empath and please feel free to comment here or send me an email. If you follow me @Destinationmommy you can DM me. I look forward to connecting.
Parenting an empath, especially if you're also an empath, can be beautiful, exhausting and everything in between. More often than not, one of the child's caregivers is also an empath, very sensitive or highly intuitive. This is why it's so important to find our balance so that we are ready to care for our little ones.
Sleep.
I know, I know. I can feel the eye rolls. I get it. Sleep is hard as a parent, but give yourself permission to leave things undone. To sleep when your child sleeps and to go to bed when they do or shortly after. This will mean you may have to sacrifice other things. TV shows you love, late night reading...but you need sleep. Raising an empath on little sleep will lead to unnecessary stress which then typically leads to adrenal fatigue and then....Yes it's a vicious cycle. Sleep is so important.
Sleep also allows our mind time to decompress. We may think that TV and social media is a way to decompress, but there is plenty of research to prove that wrong. Sleep is when we heal from all things.
My current schedule is to bed by 830 and awake around 430. The early am time is mine to workout while working, clean up as needed and everything in between. Sometimes I take 30 minutes to just stare at the wall or more often than not craft or write. When we stay up late we often run into a cortisol peak which then leads to staying up later, lots of waking, hard time falling asleep and so much more. Is my sleep uninterrupted? No its not. My little empath searches for cuddles. This means I wake a bit, but I'm able to fall back to sleep easily, now. Cosleeping is what works for us, but I'll talk more about our little's sleep, another time.
Our wounds
Healing our emotional wounds needs to be part of this journey.
If you:
Had a hard childhood
Carry guilt of being a "bad" parent
Experienced a traumatic event
...
take time to heal you, because our empathic little ones will pull the things we try to suppress, to the the surface. These wounds will manifest in ways that won't serve you or your child.
Lean into support
Find your partner and ask for help. Do not try to be a superhero. This is tricky. Empathic little ones usually bond with one person. This person is typically mama. You may be thinking how does my partner help. This is what has worked beautifully for us. My husband does most of the household stuff. He is also ready to jump in and play and be present with our daughter. He is a partner and while he may not be able to be the one holding space for our little one, because she wants mama. He is there to support in other ways. I could write a huge list, but what I want you to know is, you can't do it all. You'll burnout before lunch has come around.
For those that don't have an in home partner, find a friend that you can lean on. Perhaps you do a trade of some sorts. My mom was a single mom and didn't have a close group of friends. She found her calm and balance with me, out in nature. If this is you, find what brings balance and lean into it. Perhaps it's art time, gardening or baking. Whatever it is, make it a daily habit. If it's reading together on the couch, spend time reading together.
In the early years, there won't be much space between you and your empath. No matter what parenting tip or trick or training you learn about, it most likely will not work. Our children need something different. They need time to learn that they are safe. They need time to learn how to regulate their response to the energy they absorb. They need time to know that who they are is wonderful.
To put it in a nutshell~find your balance mama and breathe into who you are as a mama and who your child needs. When you let go of what the world tells you about your child and how you parent, you will be able to find a rhythm.
Stay tuned for more tips on parenting an empath and please feel free to comment here or send me an email. If you follow me @Destinationmommy you can DM me. I look forward to connecting.
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